50 Unexpected Events

Originally published in Dungeon magazine #134; "50 Unexpected Events":

[event] 1,A nearby child begins screaming about monsters. 1,A village idiot informs one PC that their hair is on fire. When his mistake is pointed out, he shouts that next time he won't bother telling them. 1,A gypsy peg seller warns the PCs that they are cursed (unless they buy her pegs). 1,A colorful parrot flies by, pursued by its owner's frantic family. 1,An elderly lady gives one PC a blackberry pie, claiming that he looks "a bit thin." 1,A town crier botches their speech. 1,The church bells sound the hour, but the striker breaks halfway through. 1,A wagon laden with fruit stops next to the PCs, the horse refusing to go a step further. 1,Two men walk by, arguing about cabbages as they go. 1,An old dwarf leans from a window above and abuses one PC about their dress. 1,A man on fire rushes out of a smithy and leaps into the nearest duck pond. 1,Clouds of dust billow from a nearby building and seven builders come out coughing. 1,A dog begins barking furiously at one particular PC. 1,An old woman rants about the "lack of discipline these days" and directs her ire at two of the PCs. 1,Two lovers sing to each other, oblivious to everyone around them. 1,A hot-chestnut seller yells "I've had enough of this dead-end job!" and walks off smiling. Later he is seen selling cloaks on a street corner. 1,A turnip rolls past the PCs, hotly pursued by children. 1,A chicken falls from an upstairs window and lands on one PC. 1,A jester begins to cry as he is heckled by a group of nasty gnomes. 1,A thatched roof on a house suddenly sags (the house is empty). 1,A town guard asks one PC if he knows Dag Wibberley, the notorious ferret breeder, wanted for breeding ferrets without a license. As the guard leaves, he remarks on one PC's likeness to Dag, and warns him about illegal ferret breeding. 1,A spade seller approaches the PCs with his wares. 1,A halfling says that he is lost and looking for food, and would the kind heroes lend him some money? 1,A quartet of clowns somersaults past. 1,A cat is hit by a cart and walks away unscathed. 1,A flock of sheep rush past. Two days later, a man asks the PCs if they've seen his sheep. 1,A madman claims to be a shapechanged [Animal.fantasyCreature]. 1,A beautifully arranged shop window display of glasses collapses as one PC looks at it. 1,Three slates fall off of a roof at the feet of a passing wizard, who winks at the PCs and calmly carries on. 1,A cart laden with statues of [Creatures.Basic Fantastic] passes by. 1,A man comments to one PC that he's seen a gliding moose-eagle, but not a flying one. 1,A group of religious maniacs claims the world will end in ten minutes. 1,Twenty guards stand around a broken heavy catapult, all blaming each other for dropping it first. Eventually a huge brawl takes place. 1,Dwarves hold a belching contest outside a pie shop. 1,A female gnome gives one PC a copper for some soup. 1,A door on a shop falls into the street, exposing a naked dwarf. 1,An enraged wife chases her husband with a kipper. 1,The heroes are given a free bottle of Jolie's fruit wine (which is vile) as part of a promotion. Later on they find Jolie in the village stocks. 1,An elderly half-orc warns the PCs to "beware the highlands." 1,A trio of old ladies remark on how handsome one PC is, and how he reminds them of a young [Formal Names.Start]. 1,A dashing bard gives flowers to one PC and then rushes off singing about spring. 1,A huge crowd of children walks past dressed as scarecrows, singing songs about seeds and naughty birds. A disturbing number of starlings follow them down the street. 1,A large group of well-dressed men walks past holding plans and talking about demolishing streets. They end up having a fight. 1,A woman dressed in a [Creatures.Animal] costume approaches the PCs, asking if they know the way to the village hall. If they don't, she begins crying hysterically. 1,A woman calls after a PC by name, but it soon becomes apparent that she's in fact calling the name of her dog, who just happens to have the PC's name. 1,A man falls off a ladder into a duck pond. As he falls, he screams "Not again!" 1,A man works on a twenty-wheel wagon and shows it to unimpressed dwarven clients. 1,A sudden gust of wind blows everyone's hats off. Two minutes later, the exact same thing happens again. 1,The church strikes the hour, but doesn't stop and keeps chiming all day and half the night. 1,Dogs howl as the PCs draw near, but mysteriously fall silent when they are approached.
 * event