Laws

This page is an "Abulafia-ism" of the random Law Generator at Slack n Hash.

''What role-playing game would be complete without arbitrary and Draconian changes to the legal system? What could be more fun than seeing the players squeal like stuck pigs when their weapons and spellbooks have just been declared illegal gatherings of atoms and that they have to get out of Dodge before the balloon goes up?''

Hear ye, hear ye!
[decree]

1,All citizens are advised that [crime] is now [rule]. Failure to obey shall be punished by [penalty]. This edict is effective immediately, by order of [proclaimer]. 1,Be it known that [proclaimer] has hereby decreed that the practice of [crime] is [rule]. Transgression of this most sacred and godly rule is punishable by [penalty]. 1,Regulation [Dice.digit][Dice.digit][Dice.digit][Dice.digit][Dice.digit]: [crime] is [rule]. Penalty for non-compliance (subject to [proclaimer]'s discretion): [penalty]. 1,Take heed, parishioners! [proclaimer] wishes it be known that [crime] has been declared [rule]! Adhere clearly to these words on pain of [penalty].
 * decree

1,whistling on a Tuesday 1,murder 1,theft 1,homosexuality 1,public urination 1,clearing the throat in a provocative manner 1,harboring criminals 1,slavery 1,spitting 1,uttering profanities near consecrated ground 1,wearing [Color.all] 1,prostitution 1,gambling 1,extortion 1,blackmail 1,drunkenness 1,public protest 1,vandalism 1,possessing political pamphlets 1,selling intoxicants without a license 1,selling illegal narcotics 1,eating with the left hand 1,not eating vegetables 1,growing hemp 1,growing a beard 1,owning a [Animal.fantasyLandAnimal] 1,wearing hats 1,feeding the sacred [Animal.fantasyLandAnimal] 1,possession of blades longer than three inches 1,having more than two nipples 1,going to the toilet more than once a day 1,singing anti-royalist songs 1,unprotected sex 1,abortion 1,rhinoplasty 1,loitering 1,miming 1,street theater 1,bathing in the public fountain 1,yiffing 1,bail-jumping 1,racketeering 1,public dancing 1,perjury 1,abduction 1,interfering with state property 1,playing a stringed instrument 1,breach of sumptuary laws 1,impersonating an officer of the law 1,traffic violations 1,selling pornographic material 1,leaving a pan of boiling water unattended 1,treading on the cracks on the pavement 1,doping horses 1,rustling cattle 1,lewd and licentious conduct 1,causing an affray 1,assault 1,grievous bodily harm 1,actual bodily harm 1,arson 1,witchcraft 1,littering 1,embezzlement 1,espionage 1,sabotage 1,bare-knuckle boxing 1,fixing sporting events 1,petty fraud 1,handling stolen goods
 * crime

5,forbidden 5,compulsory 1,optional
 * rule

1,the Governor 1,the King 1,the Queen 1,His Royal Highness 1,Her Royal Highness 1,His Majesty 1,Her Majesty 1,the Lord 1,the Duke 1,the Duchess 1,the Baron 1,the Baroness
 * proclaimer

1,imprisonment 1,execution 1,public flogging 1,indentured servitude for no less than ten years 1,immediate expulsion from the city 1,being polymorphed into a [Animal.fantasyLandAnimal] 1,lifetime service in the arena 1,having something beastly done to you by turkish bob 1,having a cucumber shoved up where the sun don't shine 1,spending four hours in the ducking stool 1,being used for target practice by the royal guards' ten worst marksmen 1,being spanked until your arse is red raw 1,being forced to read the collected works of [ScottishMale.main] 1,being forced to live in a house with seven other criminals for a new reality show 1,eighteen hours' calisthenics 1,mucking out the sacred [Animal.fantasyLandAnimal] stable with a toothbrush 1,crucifixion 1,spending three months in the city cesspit 1,having your face tattooed with marks of shame 1,blinding with hot irons
 * penalty