Mr.T Facts

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1,Three Rings for the Elven-kings under the sky, Seven for the Dwarf-lords in their hall of stone, Nine for the Mortal Men doomed to die, One for the Dark Lord on his dark throne, Twenty rings to make Mr. T look cool, Upon them inscribed, "I pity the fool." 1,Gravity dosen't exist. Mr. T just pities everything to stay the fuck down. Birds and planes are exempt beacuse they are shaped like Ts. 1,The last man who made eye contact with Mr. T was Ray Charles. 1,If you rearrange the letters in Mr. T, he'll fucking break you. 1,Mr. T is so scary that his hair is actually afraid to grow. The only reason he has a mohawk is because it's in his blind spot. 1,In August 2005 Mr. T, Vin Diesel and Chuck Norris went shark fishing 845 miles east of Bermuda and 1,139 miles west of the Azores Islands. After finishing off 10 kegs of Milwaukees Best and 2 barbequed tiger sharks Mr.T asked Vin Diesel to pull his finger. At the exact moment that Vin Diesel pulled Mr. T's finger Chuck Norris round house kicked Mr. T in the stomach "for fun". The resulting flatulence refered to by most as "Hurricane Katrina" has cost over $1.13 billion so far and almost destroyed New Orleans. To help aliviate his conscious Chuck will provide free "Roundhouse Kick" seminars to the hurricane victims. As for Mr. T he will simply pity the fools. 1,Rocky III was a groundbreaking film. It took 135 special effects artists 13 months to make it seem like Rocky won the second fight to Mr. T. 1,Mr. T beat a wall at tennis. A fucking WALL. 1,Mr. T is not actually black, but his thousands of gold chains create a gravity well so strong not even light can escape. 1,Mr. T invented the X-Ray, the G-String, the R-Rating and Jay-Z after a late-night drunken bender caused him to momentarily forget which letter he was. 1,Statistically speaking, you're more likely to be pitied by Mr. T, than you are to have feet. 1,Unbeknownst to the modern world, the Triforce actually exists. Unlike The Legend of Zelda, however, the pieces of the Triforce are named the Triforce of Vin Diesel, the Triforce of Mr. T, and the Triforce of Chuck Norris, all held by Vin Diesel, Mr. T, and Chuck Norris, respectively. If all the pieces of the Triforce come together, there will come a power the universe has never seen. The reason the Triforce hasn't been united today lies in three simple facts: Chuck Norris thinks mohawks are gay, Mr. T thinks beards are gay, and that Vin Diesel thinks hair in general is gay. 1,Mr. T invented orphans. 1,Mr. T once murdered a man with his balls that why it is known as T-bagging 1,Mr. T invented the I.Q. testing system so he could more accurately pity fools. 1,Mr. T was born with the right to party. Unlike the rest of us fools, who have to fight for it. 1,Mr. T once murdered a man with his balls that why it is known as T-bagging 1,Mr. T was fired from the Psychic Friends Network for always predicting pain. 1,Mr. T once murdered a man with his balls that why it is known as T-bagging
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