One Hundred Meals

First published in Dungeon magazine #133; "One Hundred Meals":

[meal] 1,Roasted tarantula with hairs carefully singed off and fangs used as toothpicks 1,Centipede-wrapped onions roasted over coals and served with onion wine 1,Chicken cooked with thyme and ocher, wild carrots, and spring water 1,"Devil's Tail" venison sausages soaked in a salt and hot pepper brine 1,Rye bread spread with lard, washed down with a strong, dark ale 1,Bean stew thickened into a pudding with tapioca flour, scooped up with hollowed-out stale bread 1,Strips of fried small game meat and mashed turnips, all covered in gravy 1,Roasted hazelnuts and fresh apples with a strip of bear jerky and a wedge of ripe cheese 1,Wild bison steaks, cooked up rare and seasoned with onions and garlic salts 1,Large pieces of oat bread and a viscera plate served inside small badger skulls 1,Roasted pigeon served with small tomatoes, wide grasses, and crumbled goat cheese 1,Pickled herring, pickled onions, pickled carrots and plain rice 1,Spit-roasted dire boar left over from last week and stored in a root cellar, served with cheese and sweet wine 1,Thin, dried fish served with green beans and spiced apple cider 1,Stew of skinned bats and black morel mushrooms, served over toasted bread 1,Large turkey leg and boiled potatoes, served with thin mead 1,Slow-roasted badger, split and filled with oat and potato mash and eaten communally 1,Roast duck and artichokes served on silver plates, plus large silver mugs filled from a fountain of fine red wine 1,Fried trout stuffed with smaller fish and a single olive, served on a bed of celery and chard 1,Squirrel and onion soup served in large mugs, with cheese curds and rye bread on the side. 1,Shish kabobs of swamp grasses, tulip bulbs, and breaded frogs 1,Boiled clams and lobster served with yaga, a drink made by draining the sap and brewing the leaves of a local vine 1,Mutton cooked in garlic and large chunks of bread fried in lard 1,Fried bacon and eggplant served with lots of ale 1,Smoked fish served with peas and strips of dried melon 1,Ox ribs, cheese, and black bread 1,Boiled crayfish and porpoise pudding, served with lemon water or wine 1,Vultures stuffed with saffron rice and covered in paprika 1,Overripe plums, almonds, dried oatcakes, and mead 1,Shark steaks with asparagus and sliced tomatoes, followed by tea and small raisin pastries 1,Shepherd's pie made with ox meat, peas, and mashed turnips 1,Duck eggs fried in fat and red peppers, served with apple cider and cranberry juice 1,Jellyfish, scallops, and red kelp, all fried in whale oil 1,Figs and dates with flaky pastries and rice 1,Roasted asparagus, tomatoes, eggplant, and artichokes, followed by coffee and almond tarts 1,Boiled beans and strips of old roc jerky 1,Shelled snails and thick chunks of octopus tentacles wrapped in seaweed and roasted. 1,Slyvan stag meat spit-roasted over aged treant wood and served on a clean bed of dryad hair 1,Cobra soaked in strong wine and roasted in the skin, served with olives and pickled lemons 1,Roast mutton stew with wild carrots, lettuce, and celery, served with fresh bread 1,Griffon meat boiled with red peppers and whey and heavily salted 1,Bear liver with onions and garlic, grilled over an open fire and served with pickled peppers and ale. 1,Otyugh thighs soaked in brine for a year and tenderized with a warhammer before roasting 1,Mushroom pasta with sauce made from minced lizards, garlic, and zucchini 1,Rat meat stew 1,Roasted horse legs and horse marrow pudding served with black bread and ale 1,Spit-roasted monitor lizard basted with salt water and seal oil 1,Fried whale meat served with large chunks of blubber and dried berries 1,Soup made with heyna meat, wild rice, and wild carrots, followed by fresh fruit 1,Pastry made from salted fish meats and dried coconut 1,Mastadon steaks roasted and served on the spears that brought the animal down 1,Crocodile meat sliced thin and seared in peanut oil, served with sliced turnips and fresh berries 1,Bread soaked in horse blood and milk and lightly fried 1,Pig brains mashed in wooden troughs and cooked by adding boiling pepper water 1,Boiled eels slit down the middle and filled with rice and beans 1,Pastries made with almonds, pine nuts, and honey, served with wine 1,Elk ribs covered in gravy made from blood and ground oats 1,Scorpion roasted in the shell and served with goat meat and potatoes 1,Chopped shrieker, soaked in a beef bullion and fried with beans 1,Mutton and "ink pudding" made from chopped walnuts and aged walnut husks 1,"Gorgon Breath" stew made from lizard meat, hot peppers, and onions, served over a mixture of water and goat's milk 1,Goat cheese, baked pears, and bread 1,Sea turtle stew cooked in the shell and eaten communally with pieces of flat bread 1,Hard-boiled ostrich eggs, sliced and served with tomatoes and asparagus 1,Hippogriff jerky boiled with peanuts, barley, and hops 1,Giant shrimp grilled in sunflower oil and covered in coarse salt 1,Sliced plantain fried with coconut and nuts 1,Seven small courses of freshly boiled fish, followed by kelp pudding and soft-boiled turtle eggs 1,Ox blood mixed with ox milk and a little cinnamon 1,Beef tenderized with black peppers and cloves, wrapped in fern leaves and baked in clay ovens 1,Thick squirrel meat and cabbage stew covered with melted cheese and breadcrumbs 1,Dried chunks of salted pork, covered in cassava paste and aged, served with plenty of cider 1,Large ants seared in peanut oil and spices, crushed into a paste, then molded into small balls and deep fried 1,Locusts fried with butter and yams 1,Goat's tongue sliced thin and boiled with bamboo shoots nad basil, served with weak wine 1,Live, juicy beetles in a sticky bed made from tapioca flour and mustard 1,Roasted mealworms and waxworms, seasoned with salt and paprika 1,Spit-roasted stork, with the head cooked separately and served to the most honored guest 1,Raw, freshly killed wild boar, served with lemons and salt 1,Onions with cumin sauce and hard bread 1,Venison custard with peas and beans 1,Bread pudding with eggs and gooseberry tarts 1,Deviled eggs stuffed with cheese and manticore meat, served with fried tomatoes 1,Egg and spinach pie 1,Mastodon meat pies, with ale served in tall ivory mugs 1,Beef meatballs in a sauce of almond milk and rice 1,Black bread and chicken candied with cinnamon and honey, served with coffee 1,Flat breads, nuts, melon slices, and tea 1,Songbird pudding and roast mutton with soft cheese and oatcakes 1,Cooked root vegetables with breadcrumbs and gingerbread for dessert 1,Spinach and egg tarts with honey-roasted walnuts 1,Beef and marrow pies served with hare soup and bread slices fried in butter and wine 1,Roasted boar's tail with hot sauce and cold fish soup 1,Silk grubs cooked in peanut oil and mint, served with fermented yogurt drinks 1,Roast lamb stuffed with bread, walnuts, peanuts, and coriander 1,Asparagus soup and pan-fried mackerel with gooseberry sauce 1,Curried goat with rice and peas, served with wine or strong rum 1,Thick slices of giant beans, roasted and served with vinegar and salt 1,Monk fish stuffed with mushrooms in a mint dressing 1,Roasted lizard on a stick and wine served from a bottle containing a snake
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